So many of us want to be in a relationship and we end up settling for less than what the Lord has for us. Jesus explains in Matthew 7:15-20, ‘you will know them by their fruit,’ in the same way you will know your potential courtship partner… notice I didn’t say dating partner, life experience has taught me to know someone on a platonic level first before deciding to date them (dating should lead to marriage)… but you will know them by their fruit.
Pay attention to the patterns and consistency in their lives. Are they in and out of relationships, do they move from career to career or job to job, who is priority in their single life? Is the Lord consistently first? Check out their social media, that’s a form of fruit as well. It’s a reflection of who they are- what are they posting; what are the majority of their ‘friends’ like and what are those friends posting; what is your potential partner ‘liking’ and viewing? A ring doesn’t change the ‘core’ of anyone. Adultery starts in the heart with the eyes.
Matthew 5:28 says, ‘But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh. on a woman to lust after her hath committed. adultery with her already in his heart.’
Why bypass major red flags in the beginning? The fruit of who someone is will be present in their lifestyle. Is every conversation with you lustful? Do they shy away when you want to talk about Jesus? Can they deal with emotions maturely? These are just a few examples of fruit and questions you need to ask yourself. I am by no means stating anyone is perfect, but what God has for you will be perfect for you and you won’t be stressed behind it.
Don’t be afraid to ask about their moral standards as it relates to Christ? And their moral standards as it relates to relationships. Do this before you indulge yourself into the dating phase of the relationship. You need to know what type of person you are getting yourself involved with. When the relationship gets rocky will they cheat? Cheating is more than physical there is emotional cheating as well. Can you agree to disagree or will disagreements incite an argument? Are they submitted to Christ and will they be committed to love you as Christ loves the church?
Here are a few more questions you might want to think about… (I wanted to isolate these questions because they should be apart of the foundation for any believer)
1. Are they submitted to God and His guidance?
2. Where do you fit in God’s purpose for their life? Your purpose should intertwine.
God gives us guidance as to what to look for but most of us are impatient and don’t wait on the Lord. When we don’t wait we end up in all kinds of dilemma’s that lead to heartbreak, rejection and bitterness. This post is meant to get your wheels to turning and to evoke not only a thought process to look at someone’s fruit but also I want you to consciously think about waiting on the Lord to give you that ‘go ahead’ before ending up in another dead end relationship.