Away

‘Pulling at my spirit, tugging at my heart, always on my mind. Sitting thinking how will I get back. Too unworthy to pray, to far gone to turn around, as I sunk deeper and deeper. I feel the pain, I am not heeding the warnings. I am closing my eyes. There is a ringing in my ear but I ignore. My stomach burns with fire as my conscience is seared with REBELLION. All of this continues…. as I smile.  I pretend everything is okay. His Words sounds aloud as I turn on the TV, as I walk in silence, as I pray in the dark. “Come back to Me, Come back to your first love.” He patiently awaits as I say, ” Here I come.”

I want to! I desire to! Isn’t this apart of the plan? “No!!” He shouts, but I silence Him with sin. I took the time to listen and hear the facts, I read my Word and silently prayed for hours. Tears ran down as I waddled in defeat. Sin has birth herself. The pains are great. I want out now! but is it getting too late, has this mistake taken my voice, my spirit, my soul, my fate? It has entangled me. I knew what was happening I knew I was warned, but loneliness needed comforting and compassion was getting old.

He sounded the trumpet!  I decided to pray! I heard Him! I listened! THIS time I surrendered. “Remove, what is not apart of my destiny!” I prayed with authority, and then looked around. What happened to the time, for now I am not bound. Where did it go! It has wasted away, with nothing to show. Temptation grew from desire, which drug me away. The desire gave birth to sin and it begin to grow!’

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is lured away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. ` James 1:13-15